Do You Hate Goldfish, Mom?

"Do you hate Goldfish, Mom. Do you? Do you hate them? Crush them!"  This is my son's response after I had  said "no, thank you" when he  offered me a Goldfish cracker. Now he wants to know why... If I don't want to eat one,  he thinks I must hate them.

At eight-years-old, my son is trying to figure out emotions such as love and hate. In his mind, if someone shows any negativity towards something or someone, then hate must be involved.

If I tell him to stop smacking our German shepherd, I will hear "Do you hate me, Mom? Hit me, kill me, Mom." The same thing happens when I correct  the dog: "Do you hate him, Mom? Hit him, kick him."

It exasperating to have to explain that no, I do not hate whatever, nor do I want to hurt it, kill it or throw it in the garbage. It also confounds me that he equates rejection or discipline with  anger - anger so profound that whatever is being rejected must be destroyed.

This is the most frustrating part of my son's autism right now. I wish I could peek into his brain and read his thoughts. Where does the violence come from? Why can't he understand that the world is not black and white?  Emotions do not come down to just  love or hate. There is a whole world of grays I wish he could see.

Until then I must patiently explain that no, I do not hate Goldfish. I just do not care to eat one right now.